I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I queefed so loud it echoed.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
