My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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