The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
