There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
