You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
