For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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