if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Did I show you my penis last night?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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