also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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