It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
