Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
please don't ironically join a cult
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