you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
