We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
