well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
The Olympian is in my bed
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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