Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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