My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
