A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
He kissed a someone with a penis
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
