Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I woke up under a house in Key West
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