Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
