4 words: hood of his car
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
