Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
