Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
