Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
