that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
