never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
