She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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