I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Randomize
