your thong is hanging out like whoa
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i dont even know how to be here
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
