physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Be still, my beating vagina.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
