he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
