Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
and she was petting her beer can
two words...techno handjob
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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