So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
