how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
honey bunches of taint.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
