Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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