She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
