i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
