My nipple is on Facebook.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
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