i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
