I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
If I die, sorry about rent.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
