The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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