Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Green mimosas i think yes
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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