i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
