But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
A+ Viking dick
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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