ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
