so explain again why im purple
no
I want to have your abortion
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
