She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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