can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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