he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
3 2 1 whiskey
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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