Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
pray to the hookup gods
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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