Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize