New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
